Sunday, January 10, 2010

New Snow Laws to be Introduced

I was interested to read on the Government Website a proposal for some new 'Snow Laws' to be enforced before next winter - in an effort to improve road conditions.

A few controversial ones in there that are bound to cause a few letters of complaint from the countries Guardian readers, but I think, taking them as a whole package, the new law throw up some very sensible suggestions. I'll list a few of the key ones below....

  • Females of any age, and Males over the age of 65 will be banned from using public highways when there is more than a 50% chance of Ice or Snow - this will greatly reduce the number of vehicles travelling at 2 mph, and will help clear up road congestion for those people that can actually drive the vehicles they've purchased.
    (For the purpose of this law, all members of the Gay community are to be classed under their 'Psychological Gender' and not their 'Physical Gender')
  • Any Male under the age of 65 who can't drive at speeds above 5 miles per Hour, will be temporarily classed as 'Gay' and will thereby fall into the 'banned' category.
  • If the pavements are snow covered and make walking a little difficult, whilst it won't be against the law for Pedestrians to use the Roads for walking on, Motorists will be within the letter of the law to run them over if they can't be arsed to step back on the pavement while you drive towards them.
    Pedestrians who survive will also be fined £25 and be wholly responsible for repaying the loss of any of the Motorists 'No Claims' Bonus for the next 5 years.
So hopefully by next year a few days of Ice and Snow won't bring the Country to a complete standstill


BurnleyMik said...


Quality. I hope you don;t mind mate, but I linked this on the forum for others to read. Quality.



Mr Origami said...

haha spot on mate, spot on!!