Wednesday, June 10, 2009

'The Apprentice' - Sir Alans real thoughts

So Sir Alan Sugar finally chose his 'Apprentice' after 12 Weeks of tasks and Boardroom Bust-Ups. But the final decision shown on Sunday evening was in fact the second take. I have been passed a transcript of Sir Alans actual conversation leading up to his choice of 'Yasmina Siadatan' as his Apprentice 2009.

Cue, the voice over man ....... 'So after 12 Weeks, and 16 Candiates, Sir Alan has to chose between 'Yasmina' and 'Kate' .......

Sir Alan (In lovable East End drawl)- Well, its cam' darn to this, 'n its the 'ardest descision 'av had ta make, your the best two finalists wee've 'eva 'ad - an 'dats da truth.
Kate, you've proved you fantastic at presentin' an' a tr'ffic sales woman - You cud 'probablee take a Billion pawnds of shite an' sell it to an Arab. In fact if I don't take yoo on, Mike Ashley's bin on the 'dog n bone' askin' if you could do that very job.
But, on the downside, you've got a bleedin' Brummie accent -an' pretty bird that you are, if you'd only 'ad a more appealin 'Scouse' lilt or even better bin a Cockeneey like me, then me decsion wud 'ave bin a lot easier. Still I 'spose it could be worse - you could have bin bladdy Scottish, then i'd have need to hire a 'bleedin translator as well.

Yasmina, well you made a right royal cock up in week 4, but you've learned from your erro' an' dun very well over the 'uver tarsks'. But you've got a face like a slapped arse, an' mus' be one of the most miserable looking birds I've eva seen. ........ But I've cum to mi decision ..............


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